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Post by minouners on Apr 10, 2007 12:47:54 GMT -5
Well here's a questions for you all.
If someone decides to join a dating site while with you, can you genuinely trust them?
What if they changed the passwords to their e-mails? Get defensive?
For example, website - plentyoffish.com
On their profile it says - not single/not looking... but is that enough??
Input please
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Post by liljenjen on Apr 10, 2007 22:38:20 GMT -5
There are a lot of people who view sites like plentyoffish.com as a way of making friends, just like MySpace, except a different URL. So if they have not single/not looking, they are more than likely using it to make friends and should be trusted. If they begin to act fishy or different, then you might want to question a few things, but I see no reason to right now.
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Post by Bob on Apr 11, 2007 1:22:52 GMT -5
Why be defensive if you have nothing to hide?
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Post by DarkAngelsFury on Apr 11, 2007 22:16:58 GMT -5
I believe in one thing...trust your own instincts...first impression is 99.9% always correct. Once you start to reason with it, you distract yourself from the truth and in turn end up being taken in by a lie or a missdirection. That pertains to pretty much anything in life. Gut instincts always rule in my book. If you want details, ask me...I have too many instances where it has applied in my life to just post them here.
Good luck.
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Post by Klark on Apr 12, 2007 8:47:53 GMT -5
I agree with Bob. I really don't think there's anything to be defensive about if you're just making friends. If you're hiding something, well, that's a different story.
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Post by Krystle on Apr 15, 2007 17:54:28 GMT -5
Well my suggestion is to confront him. I'm sure you've already done this, but if he had nothing to hide then why would he act like he definitely had something to hide. Especially the changing of passwords and trying to make it sound like nothing while getting all upset that you're asking. Trust your intuition. It's generally correct and if something feels wrong, don't second guess yourself or you'll wind up staying with the guy when you should be moving on or worse you'll lose yourself. Let me know the updates!
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Post by minouners on Apr 16, 2007 9:51:54 GMT -5
Thanks for the advice guys.
I did confront him about it and he says it just to talk. So I will believe that but there's still that itch in the back of my mind... The whole changing password is still worrying me but I'm not confronting him about that...
I think I'm just going to give up in general...
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Post by Krystle on Apr 19, 2007 17:30:41 GMT -5
Well don't give up! Unless you're giving up on him for good. If you have an itch in the back of your mind, but you still want a relationship with him, then just beware. I've joined a dating site before just to talk to people and Klark knows that. It just happens to be called dating sites when you're over 18.
Which sucks because if you're just on there for friends then you constantly have to tell people you don't want more than that. Just trust your intuition. It may be telling you the truth, even if you don't yet know what that truth is. Also just know that you deserve to be happy and if you're just going to constantly wonder about this guy while you're with him then it may be time to move on, because it's not worth staying if you're always going to wonder if he's doing something that you wouldn't like.
If you're like that with every guy, mistrustful, then it would even be hard to trust your intuition at times. I am reading a great book right now, it was written in the 1990's but it's a great book. Maybe you should see if you can find it on ebay or something and read it.
It's all about relationships and i'm actually learning a lot of stuff by reading it. I'm learning things about myself that i'm doing wrong in my relationship and things that guys do because it's their nature. It's not a book ragging on men or women. It's basically a self-help book. Here's the title: Secrets about Men every Woman should know by Barbara DeAngelis, Ph.D. If you do read it let me know what you think!
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Post by minouners on Apr 23, 2007 12:43:19 GMT -5
Well I'll try to grab a copy of that for sure... oh and remember that itch... well get this..
This past saturday
I went home after the bar around 330... and my bf said he's be out of town all weekend but i saw that his stuff was there... but he wasn't... I saw pictures on his laptop and saw that he took pictures of himself on this digital camera... so I was really worried...
he came in at 400am...
he was at a girl he just met's place...
he said he just gave her a kiss on the cheek...
I honestly think he's lying
I'm sooo fucking lost right now....
This is bullshit
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Post by Bob on Apr 23, 2007 21:58:08 GMT -5
If I had just met a girl and I was at her place til 4 am, then I know what would be on my mind...
If you're constantly suspicious and unhappy, then this is probably not worth it. How can you benefit from the relationship if you don't have trust?
You seem like an awesome girl and could surely find someone who you wouldn't have these issues with.
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Post by Krystle on Jul 26, 2007 19:01:19 GMT -5
Dump the loser and move on! He obviously doesn't care that much about your relationship or he'd at least try. You don't go to some girl you just met's apt and give her a kiss on the cheek when you told your gf that you'd be out of town. He's such a cheating lying sack of shit! Don't put up with that. Bob's right. You can find someone so much better than that.
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