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Post by Bob on Mar 29, 2007 23:30:13 GMT -5
Being single has really been bumming me out the past couple of weeks. To make matters worse, I've started thinking a lot about the past couple of years. In the past 5 years, the longest relationship I've had is 4 months and all of them fit the same profile. Insecure girl with plenty of emotional baggage who loves how good I make her feel, and who gets rid of me when her confidence is up. Then we usually don't talk until she has a problem, which I help her with because I'm a sap. Kinda makes a guy feel like there is something wrong with him.
I HATE DATING. I hate the games. I've been all over the spectrum; older, younger, richer. poorer, varying levels of physical attractiveness and intelligence. Same games from all of them. So, I'm lonely, but still I find myself liking a girl and I think "why bother".
I've talked with a couple of friends in an attempt to vent some frustration and possibly get a little sympathy (I'm a bit of a sympathy whore) and all I get from them is a lecture about how my standards are unrealistically high. Have these people not seen some of the girls I've dated? I'm not trashin on them, I'm just sayin that I have evidence that my standards aren't that high.
Well, I'm not really sure where I was going with all of that. I've become a little emotional and though it is great fuel for the creative process, I'm really not enjoying it that much.
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Post by minouners on Mar 30, 2007 8:49:43 GMT -5
I have a question, how old are you?
And just a little thought here... what if you dated women that didn't have any emotional baggage?
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Post by Bob on Mar 30, 2007 15:54:55 GMT -5
I have a question, how old are you? And just a little thought here... what if you dated women that didn't have any emotional baggage? I would love to date a woman with no emotional baggage! Its not like I go looking for it  I will be 25 in June. |
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Post by thegreatdave on Mar 30, 2007 16:42:51 GMT -5
Well for me at one point i hated girls all together but i guess i'm a sucker for helping them out
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Post by Klark on Mar 30, 2007 19:57:48 GMT -5
Ya know, Tiny, we've all been there. We've all dated those that are bogged down by the baggage. That goes for both men and women, by the way. In the end, I am afraid of becoming an old man who hates the world because they got what he didn't. Which includes love. That kept me fueled to find the right partner to be with. You know me personally and you've seen what I've dated in the past and what they've done to me. That normally would've crushed me to the point that I would never date again, but it was that fear that kept me going. I know you're a little shy around the opposite sex, I know it's not a lot, but a little. You've got to get more self confident yourself. Ya know why they leave after their confidence has been restored? It's probably because you've switched places in the relationship and they don't like doing what you've done to help restore their confidence. I wouldn't know, I don't know the background of your relationships, but I do know you're a great guy and that you do get taken advantage of. Personally, I'm sorry it happens because when it happens too often, that great guy can fade away and become something else entirely.  |
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Post by Bob on Mar 30, 2007 23:53:40 GMT -5
Well, I wouldn't say that I'm shy, I'm just not aggressive. Maybe that's the same thing.
I don't have confidence issues as far as knowing that I'm a worthwhile person and I will make a great partner. I do however have some issues with my appearance. Which I'm workin on.
I think the reason that these relationships have ended after I've built the person back up is that they start to feel like they could do better and they hook up with some better looking asshole who treats them like shit and then they come crying to me.
Yeah, this all probably comes back to some flaw in my personality. Overall I like who I am and I'm trying not to let myself become bitter
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Post by Klark on Mar 31, 2007 0:16:40 GMT -5
Well, I do see one thing that you could work on. I want you to remember that no one is better looking than you. Many different people have many different tastes. Some women may drop panty at the mere sight of Fabio while others drop over from laughing at him. Some women like a fuller man while others don't. Just because someone's personal tastes don't include you that doesn't mean that someone else is better looking than you.
It was the self image I was talking about in your confidence. You must love yourself before you can love another. Remember that.
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Post by Krystle on Mar 31, 2007 15:42:43 GMT -5
Well, I do see one thing that you could work on. I want you to remember that no one is better looking than you. Many different people have many different tastes. Some women may drop panty at the mere sight of Fabio while others drop over from laughing at him. Some women like a fuller man while others don't. Just because someone's personal tastes don't include you that doesn't mean that someone else is better looking than you. It was the self image I was talking about in your confidence. You must love yourself before you can love another. Remember that. Exactly. Robert! I think you are a wonderful guy and very cute! I'm not just saying that. I don't drop my panties at Fabio or muscular guys. That's just not attractive to me. I like a "squishy" guy, because they're cuddly teddy bears!!! The thing is, you keep falling for the same girls basically over and over again, right? Try dating a girl you wouldn't normally date. You might be pleasantly surprised. Every girl has different tastes and you deserve better than you've ever had. The truth is, Klark is not the type of guy I used to like. I used to like shorter guys, skinny, cute. Then I met Klark and we became friends. After our previous relationships went all to hell we started to date and i'm very happy. He's everything i've ever wanted and more! It all turns out in the end. Everything happens for a reason and the only way to break the cycle is to learn from your past mistakes and stay away from the girls that are like that to you. Keep them as friends and when you see yourself going past that "friend zone" just kind of say "Whoa!" And think of what's happend in the past. I'm not blaming your or anything lol. I guess that came out wrong! You'll find someone great someday and all of this will seem just like a bad dream. Just hang in there and stay patient. I really want to see you happy! As for the things you're "working on," we've all got things to work on and the fact that you're trying to begin to break the cycle is really admirable!!! ;D |
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